Stupid call

There's once my fren called me..
He's funny but very the ...can I use dumb?
Not to make him paiseh, I decided to use a fake name.

Jacob:Halo,Joanne ah, where are you?
Me:Outside lor..why?
Jacob:where la?
Me:My area la..
Jacob:eh..u mean Boon lay?
Me:Yup..
Jacob:Har..u at Boon lay ah?
Me:Yalor..
Jacob:Really meh?
Me: Yes! Why?
Jacob:I saw someone who look like u la..thot is u..
Me:where u saw dat girl who look like me?
Jacob:Jurong Point lor..
Me:Huhz..
Jacob:Yalahz..I saw dat person who look like u la..realli look like u ley..the way she touched her hair also like ur pattern lei..
Me:Not me la.I nv go Jurong point today.
Jacob:Yalor..I noe la..u now at Boon lay mah..I saw her yesterday..
Me:Wait..wat u said? Yesterday???
Jacob:Yalor..I saw dat person who look like u yesterday at Jurong Point.
Me:den u called me now and ask?
Jacob:Yalor..juz remember mah..
**Pause** Joanne nearly vomited blood...
Me:Jacob.Yes.I went Jurong Point yesterday.
Jacob:Oh.its really you.See la.I said mah..really look like u!
Me:den why u ask me where am I now? You think I go Jurong Point overnight nv go home ahz?
Jacob:eh...
Me:You saw her yesterday ma..den u shld ask me straight did I go to jurong point can liao ma..
Jacob:hmm..Yahor..hehe..
Me:waste my time lei u
Jacob:den u really go Jurong Point yesterday hor?
Me:ZZzzz