Beer Brothers

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please?.

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately
sip one, then the other, and then the third until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them
cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're
low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia,
and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night
we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts
too and we're drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the
guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes
in and orders only two. He drinks them, and then orders two more. The bartender
sadly says, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry
that one of your brothers died?.

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking?.

My Design Work

Months ago, my brother was pestering me to do a design Logo for his gang of biker friends to put on helmets..
I was so unwilling..finding him a pest!
But..when I see my design on the helmet now..
I'm so 感动! Its my design lei!!

Excel

Just now, Jiale(fake name) called me. She was asking me how to use excel worksheet.
So I created a simple database and sent to her. From there, I was trying to explain how to create the database..etc..

Okay..drop the details of how I went abt teaching her of creating database..
and den..
I was trying to teach her how to add up the number using the "autosum"..
So I told her...
me: did u see the column A B C D E F G..?
jiale: Yes.
me: ok. den u go to F1 and key in number 2..number 2..1 2 3 de 2..not spell one.
jiale: ok..den?
me: den u go to F2 and key in number 2 again..den F3 key in number 3.
jiale: huh..cannot key in lei..
me:cannot? why cannot? go to F1 the box there. Put ur mouse into the box, den key in number 2..cannot meh?
jiale:I press F1 den key in number 2..nothing happened...
me:(Zzzzz) Jiale, I'm referring to the column F..den the 1st row 1..understand?
jiale: (laffing away) Oh..haha..I tot u said the key "F1".
me:(abit pekchek I admit) Wahlau..den now can key in already?
jiale: can liao.
me: Okay.den u go to F4, den from there, use mouse to drag all the way to F1 to highlight the boxes.
jiale: huh? how to? cannot lei..nothing happened.
me:(impatient liao) u highlight 1st. den I tell u what to do..
jiale:now den I know I so stupid,u dun tell Z*H** ley.. (laffing away again)

This goes on and on..
until she said,"I think next time ur kids very jialat, dunno how to do homework surely kanna whacked by u until jialat jialat..
Den I become more and more fedup..
And I replied impatiently,"Its u seem to be so bo sim to learn hor.."
and in the end I guess she was fedup with herself
and my pekchek-ness and she said,"I dunwan to learn liao. Thank you."
I was like...huhz..arrghhz and replied,"Ok.Bye bye."

And I admitted again, when I hung up..I was still pekchek with her..
But now..when I think back..actually she's cute lah..Joker!!
lolz..I regretted not asking her to use G1 instead..so dat she wun go and press dat "F1".. (haha..silly ger.)

Sometimes this ger ah, is cute and fun..sometimes juz make me so angry..
She can said to me,"I like to make u angry le..ur expression so funny."
den I was like,"WHAT?" and she goes on with her hahahaahaha.
I thot to myself I muz fight back so I said,"wow, u not scare I angry one hor?"
She said,"aiyah, scare what, u angry awhile ok liao. Not scare la.Scare wat? Hahaha"
Well, when I see her expression ..indeed, anger juz disappeared.
hazz...
Nerdie dandan's temper sux..

Bus 198

One day, I was on my way to huihui's house..
and I got myself a seat right to the back.


Den..I noticed this guy..
He seem CUTE..


So my focus was on him all the while until he stood up..


And I took a closer look when he alight..
so he's NOT dat cute afterall..


He's not bad-looking instead of CUTE..
Dunno when can I see him again..

Ways to health lifestyle

1.Heavy Breakfast,balance Lunch, Light Dinner.
*The outcome of losing weight by dieting is Nightmare.
2.Exercise at least twice a week.
*This refer to really exercise, not by gg to the pool and soak water.(I alwiz do so.)
3.Do not take soft drinks so often.
*I just realised actually sugar from soft drinks will turn into fats eventually if u never exercise.Strongly recommend Oolong Tea if u can't live with just plain water.
4.Snacking in between meal is a bad habit.If you must snack, eat fruits.
*Oranges are good for skin complexion.
5.Quit whatever bad habits u haf.
*Example, drinking,smoking..etc
6.Sleep early at nite and wake up early in the morning.
*Edi said by doing this will become pretty and dat's why sleeping beauty is a beauty.
7.Drink plenty of plain water.
*Help to clear toxic.
8.Give your liver a break. How to?
*Gina said liver sleeping timing is between 12am to 2am.So if u nid to go clubbing, sleep 1st, wake up after 2am to go.
9.Do not feed yourself too much hawker foods. Oily + Unhealthy.
*Maggi mee is not good for health too.
10.Do not behave like me.
*Me know how to talk theory but practically .. ahem..beta shut up.

Stupid call

There's once my fren called me..
He's funny but very the ...can I use dumb?
Not to make him paiseh, I decided to use a fake name.

Jacob:Halo,Joanne ah, where are you?
Me:Outside lor..why?
Jacob:where la?
Me:My area la..
Jacob:eh..u mean Boon lay?
Me:Yup..
Jacob:Har..u at Boon lay ah?
Me:Yalor..
Jacob:Really meh?
Me: Yes! Why?
Jacob:I saw someone who look like u la..thot is u..
Me:where u saw dat girl who look like me?
Jacob:Jurong Point lor..
Me:Huhz..
Jacob:Yalahz..I saw dat person who look like u la..realli look like u ley..the way she touched her hair also like ur pattern lei..
Me:Not me la.I nv go Jurong point today.
Jacob:Yalor..I noe la..u now at Boon lay mah..I saw her yesterday..
Me:Wait..wat u said? Yesterday???
Jacob:Yalor..I saw dat person who look like u yesterday at Jurong Point.
Me:den u called me now and ask?
Jacob:Yalor..juz remember mah..
**Pause** Joanne nearly vomited blood...
Me:Jacob.Yes.I went Jurong Point yesterday.
Jacob:Oh.its really you.See la.I said mah..really look like u!
Me:den why u ask me where am I now? You think I go Jurong Point overnight nv go home ahz?
Jacob:eh...
Me:You saw her yesterday ma..den u shld ask me straight did I go to jurong point can liao ma..
Jacob:hmm..Yahor..hehe..
Me:waste my time lei u
Jacob:den u really go Jurong Point yesterday hor?
Me:ZZzzz

好朋友

As usual, I was chatting with my 好朋友 on msn and he asked me..
"What are you doing? me watching tv,playing and chatting now"
So I replied,"I am on the phone and chatting with u lor.."
He."bf?"
me."No. fren."
He."bf or gf?"
me."Boy fren."
He."serious one or juz fren."
me."juz fren."
He."he likes u or u like him?"
me."JUZ FREN." Zzzz
He."oh..No boyfriend? attached?"
me."Nopez.." (feeling abit why all the questn like sama-sama)
He."No wonder I called you, line busy."
me."dun bluff la."
He."yr hp number is 9997 1603 right...i got call just now leh....than someone go kan me"
me."haha..like real."
At this moment, he started to act on his own..
(His own 台词 and replying to himself.)
i say can i speak to dandan...the some guy reply...wtf r u calling from?...cb dun disturb leh...u bastard...???then i got stun.

then i reply...who are you? i like to speak to my hao peng you....than he say hao yr lao bu...go fly kite lah...ccb.#$@@!$$!

then i say oei why u so vuglar one...somemore yr ang moh not very chun...sound like some american fool who never wear di ku...

then he say chun, chun yr lj mo lah...call here dun know speak to what dan dan...dan ta is it?

then i reply...wah how u know i like eat dan ta...u are such a smart ass....haha

he say cb eat yr head...dun play a fool here....i got yr number hehe...

he say enough already u not happi come out we settle

then i say come out come out lah...u think i scare ah?

he say okie u better dun run i call my men...and he ask where u from?

call men for backup...ayo u so hum ji...where i from? from my house lah...

okie u come out at geyland hotel 81 ground floor meet me....

then i say hotel 81...wah...i think i got a wrong number sorry bye...so i hang up the phone

(I remain slient all the way when he started to plot his own story. Well, this is my 好朋友)

Treasure and cherish

Nothing much happened to me recently.
Read up a chinese novel. Touching story.
Finished up a korea drama,新娘18岁. Funny yet touching.

Make me understand more abt treasuring and cherishing of people around me.
When the one you love left you one day, will you regret for not telling 'em how important they're to you, or u regret you nv show enuff care and concern for 'em.

Make me understand the important of revealing your true feelings..
Don't be afraid to tell your parents how much you love 'em.
Don't be afraid to tell the one you love dat he's on your mind every now and den..well, I regretted before for nt telling him and yes, I lose him..

Make me understand of the word, Trust.
Trusting can outhold everything..
If you trust someone, nothing..nothing will affect the bond..
Nothing will destroy the friendship, kinship and even relationship.

The world is changing everyday but your heart will stay for someone special eventually..
its could be a day, a mth, a yr or even forever..
Don't let this feeling die off as its hard to fall in love..as in True Love..
*My personal opinion*
Lastly,
May happiness fall for all of us..