Feeling so moody today..
Since last night I was like this though...
Decided to meet up my grppyz for dinner..juz to forget for awhile.
My buddy told me..if I want to find him,I will be able to do so..
So I did..
I asked one of our common friend and I managed to get his hp no juz in 1 min.
But..I haf no courage to call him..
I really dun haf.
I dunno why I'm behaving in this way.
I dunno what to sms him..
I dare not call him..afriad of no topic between us..
I hesitate to send him good nite sms..
Yet I miss him..
I gave his hp no to another of our common friend.
Yes.
She called him up.
According to her, they chatted quite happily..
Making fun of each other..joking abt each other..
Jealous I admitted.
I really was.
But what can I do.
I got no guts.
The thought of smsing him just make me feel dat..
Why shld I sms u 1st when u seem to forget me all this while.
why shld I still linger abt u when u already told me we will remain as friend.
Maybe I was wrong to blame him for Hong's death.
But I regretted..though he dunno..
I know it was an accident.
and maybe again, its too late to say anything now.
I couldn't turn back the time at all..not even 1 second..
I haf thoughts of forgetting him and move on with my own life..
But I afraid I will regret in future.
If I wait for him..
and its turn out to be a flower dat never blossom, what should I do?
Am I just finding trouble for myself?
I can't blame him for returning to my life as he never leave before.
We are not together before.
But things happened between us were not simple.
Alot of things happened.
Happy moment...
Sad moment..
Need alot of talking to solve things out I guess.
Buddy said to me..,"your story with him like drama series ley.."
Think of it, quite true.
We..like each other.
No one want to make the 1st move to declare..
we are both this way.
Waiting for the other party to make the 1st move.
Well done.
we ended up no where.
I dunno why we seem so hard to be together.
No fate?
I dunno.
maybe we are not meant to be couple.
Not meant to be together.
I guess I'm just being annoying.
Can't I just stop thinking of him and concentrate on other things?
I hate myself at times.
I feel dat I can't relate my true feelings to him..
At least he did before.
But I rejected him dat time.
Due to certain reason.
Years later,
when I haf chance to tell him I do like him too, I didn't do so.
Bcoz of pride again.
Just bcoz I'm a girl.
Guy shall make the 1st move.
The concept sticks to my brain like a super glue.
When the super glue finally go off..
Too late.
return of a sentence,"we shall be friends."
I'm dat kind..
A simple I miss u is so hard for me to say out..or even type out in a message to be sent out to him..
So how much courage I took juz to sms him,"I like you."
It was not easy for me.
Sad enuff,
I was rejected.
Maybe our story really ended..
ended.
3 comments:
I am sorry to hear you are sad. I hope you will cheer up soon. Of course, it is always easier to say it than to do it.
Expressing our feelings to another person is always difficult. Will they respond kindly? Or will they reject us?
I was always (and still am) very scared to say what I feel to those who I like or think I might like. Maybe I have missed opportunities that way. I don’t know. But, the fear of rejection, the fear of promising something I cannot guarantee has kept me from being more open with people than I would like.
I wish I could teach you how to say things without fear, but I can’t because I can’t always do it myself. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger, maybe because there is no emotion or feeling, no commitment and nothing to lose.
I also think that in your culture, it is probably not considered good if the girl is forward and direct, making the first move. It shouldn’t be like that, but it is. Sometimes I wished a girl would have made the first move with me, but society makes the rules: girls flirt, guys chase.
Take courage and do what you think is right. It may not be easy. As hard as it was for you to sms him a “I like you” message, it was just as hard for me to ask a girl out or to pick up the phone and call her. It’s hard for everyone – unless you don’t care or know the answer for sure.
And don’t beat yourself up. You did what you did the best way you knew how. Next time, if you have to, you will do it better.
Time is still the best test of friendships and relationships. Occasionally reminding people that you are around is always a good thing. I know that people like to know that they are thought of and cared for. Sometimes they are too scared to make the first move, so you have to make the first move. Sometimes you get surprised by a positive response back from them. And then, other days, I wonder why I try to keep in touch with people, because it seems that if I don't call them or write to them – they seem to forget about me.
Take care dandan. I think you will find something new to relax your mind. BTW, did you get the job?
Waking up this morning, feeling disappointed..I sms him last nite.
But No reply.
But wat can I expect when I juz sms-ed him 'Good Nite' greeting.
Maybe I should try harder.
I really don't want to regret in future dat I never try and I juz give up this way.
The outcome might be the same again.
Rejected.
But you see, if I want to be with him,I might haf to move to his country instead as he's not a singaporean.
Yet I'm willing to do so just bcoz I like him.
My friend asked me before,"wat so good abt him?"
I guess Love just can't be explained.
Ya..Got the job, don't feel like going to work..but haf to.
Feeling moody still.
Hope tml will be a better day.
I agree that you should try to know for sure. Of course you might not like the answer. On the other hand, life is not fun if you go through it asking "What if ..." or "If I only had tried ..."
Good luck. I hope any answers you get help you feel better.
As for work ... ah ... who likes to go to work? It makes you miss all the nice things in life. On the other hand, without work, I cannot afford to live. sigh
Take care.
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