sometimes..

When I fall in love..its will be forever....
I sat on my couch on sat listening to this song....I tot,"who will fall in love and last forever?"
Its sounded so beautiful yet so far away.
When you fall in love at differ stage of ur life, you will have differ thinking..
When I was 16, I longed for the fairy tales love...
When I was 18, I tot love is enuff to outhold everything...

Christmas Eve

Tot today is christmas eve but I don't feel any christmas mood at all..
Abit bored..abit tired...
abit sick of celebrating this kinda of festival..

I prefer..YUAN XIAO den christmas!! I lOvE to eat Tang Yuan..hahahhaa

Aiyoz..me not christian mahz..used to love christmas alot..
One whole grp of friends hangout together..maybe old le..
dunno how to enjoy..
------------slap myself awake to continue writing..
Just went to roll call. Sister actually bought us christmas present.
It's a cute blue plastic rabbit.
So sweet of her. This year 1st christmas present.
Appreciate alot..
But the happiest thing today is.............I can go back at 12.30pm!!~
Dat's so wonderful....

I'm lost..

How will you know you're falling in love or you just want someone to accompany you?
I been asking myself..
I dunwan to hurt myself in a relationship..
I admit..I don't want commitment....
I admit..I like those care and concern from those people who come after me. ( Though I'm ugly n fat lah)
Well..maybe because of this, I've been thinking whether they chase after me is they really like me or for fun only.

Anyway, I serious enjoying my single life now and I dunwan anything to disturb my peaceful period of time..

Tot I've alot of things weighing on my mind, my brain still remain shut down condition..
I dun wish to think too much..
I dunwan to believe in wat people told me recently..
But on the other hand, I am afraiding its will come true..
Pray hard..everything will sail smoothly..
Luv you,
dandan@bendan.com

Totally give up..

Well, if friend is like this..I rather don't want. No point telling people things you're wrong and feel sorry abt the things you done yet infront of me act differently..

Maybe I think too much..I wouldn't know..
Maybe you said you didn't know I was there..
Maybe you tot it was no big deal thingy..why can't you said..

This is simple. If I as a friend of yours now remaining a very good friend r/s with your ex bf and I told people how nice the ex of your is, how u feel? And I know you do like your ex, how you react? Will you feel dat I did it on purpose?

Try to put yourself in my shoe and understand my feeling..I haf no choice to think this way..

Monday blue

Last night I hardly sleep and I'm here in NUH with sleepy eyes, switch off brain writing blog away..
Somehow or rather, I don't have Monday Blue..but I hate thursday..
Its like I have work 3 long days and I wake up on a thursday morning feeling its only the forth day.
Well, I am juz plain lazy to wake up early in the morning..
I like to sleep....
sleep sleep sleep..
hahhhaaa
but who don't like to sleep..tell me..I want to interview dat person..its so amazing when there's someone telling me he/she don't like to sleep..

Christmas

hohoho..Merry Christmas..

Friends ard me already start asking me how to I celebrate my christmas. My brain goes into a blank suitation..I only know I will celebrate my christmas with my good friend, Rachel.
We might go clubbing..we might not..we might chill out at home..maybe we simply go swimming..who know..
Anyway, Christmas is still a week from now..dunwan to have any planning lahz..
Me ahz..end of year, start to slack slack slack..no mood to work..how wor..sleepy everyday....

oh..wait.. i see a handsome young guy at my clinic..droolz..
haha..
I am back..I went to check his particular..aiyahz..he's seeing colon..not my room de..so disappointed..
He's tall, tanned, big size but born in 1985..
Too young.
Xiao di di la..
I go and peep on him le...bye ......

Doctor or ah beng?

All along I tot doctors are those high class one..dun speak hokkien..dun talk singlish..very SI WEN and well spoken types..

Haha...Wrong ley! All wrong!

One particular sunny beautiful afternoon, I was attending to a doctor in Plastic Generic Clinic . We were supposed to press the queue no for patient to take note its their turn to see us. So we pressed for this no 1445 for one particular lady and we waited but no one came into the room. So I went out to call for her name but no response. My doctor tried to call too afraiding the patient can't hear my voice. (maybe lahz..hehe) It was still the same. All the other patients from other clinic stared at us blankly which made us look like dumb dumb. By the way, this particular doctor is only 27 yrs old. A not-so-bad guy born in 1977. (smiling to myself tot...)

We proceeded to see the patient after her and we called her again but no reply too. This went on until 4plus. There's a knock on our door standing there a fierce lady shouting at me saying," Nurse ah, you miss my queue no ley! My appointment time is at 2.45pm. Now is already 4.30pm." She went on and on. I explained we did call her but she just won't stop her nagging.

So I told her to wait and I asked my doctor. My this born in 1977 doctor threw his case sheet on the table and shouted,"chee bye!" loudly. Can you picture the reaction of my cute round face? I moved myself away from him slowly. Shock!! shock!!

I think he did realised I got a shock. He lowered down his volume and asked me to call for the patient.
Wat an experience dat day.
But I enjoyed assisting to this doctor. He's nice..I mean..he's not bad..
The most saddest thing is ..he's married....

Friendship..

Recently I am troubled with the word,"friendship".
Friends...
How we define a good trustworthy friend...

Wat kind of person deserve us to treat them nicely and offer our help to them when needed..

What kind of friends we should keep a distance...and how do we see a person whether he/she's acting infront of us or he/she is sincere in being our long time good friend..

Some people come and know you hoping you will become his girlfriend one day and walk away if dat never come true...

Some people stick to some idiot guys who put on air with attitudes because dat fool is RICH..

Some people like to go out with some nasty friends who alwiz hang their vugular languages ard their mouth because they have a car...


But I just want a real good friend who really care for me..guide me through my life..telling me wat is right..wat is wrong...grow up together..sharing all happiness and sadness..
Is this too much I ask for?

I dunwan friend who treat me good infront of me...and stalk me behind my back and start spreading nonsenses abt me....NOT a SINGLE words from HER mouth is TRUE!!
I dun understand why she treated me this way..wat did I do wrong..

She was like so nice to me whether we go out..I treated her as a frenz who is hard to comeby..
Yet I realised all this..I realised she actualli dun like me...told pple bad things abt me...wanting pple to hate me too..yet on her side, she asked me out..but tell pple I find her 1st..
I guess she won't know how hurt am I when I heard all the things she said abt me...

How sad I was...
Maybe I shouldn't...
Maybe I couldn't....
Maybe this is the end....
I wouldn't know....
Still...May God Bless Her..

yawnz..

Hiatal hernia
Post necrotuc cirrhosis
viral hepatitis
bacterial hepatitis
Gallstones in; cystic duct, gall bladder
Colonic Polyps
Barrett's esophagus
Adenocarcinoma of esophagus
acute & chronic gastritis
divertivulosis of Colon...
..........................................
.............................................................
.......................................................................

hmm..

hmmm........

Joanne holds keypoint's hand...

Miss ya ley..
=)

Different Perspective..

Hmm..I got feedback from guys saying they were hurted by gals also..they wanted to commit but gals juz run away..

I dunno how true..but I guess its could be true as this kinda of things r fair enuff..Guys cheated Girls' feeling and some girls help to take revenge..

But pls lahz..this apply to myself too..Choose properly, Open Eye Big Big..dun jump into r/s too fast..

This is what I realised after failure n failures in r/s..I am learning too...
But Love can't control...
Love isn't so wonderful but so mani pple r willing to jump into it..its sure haf its own charm..

Marriage? Crazy?

Hey, just now while I was on my way home sitting on dat stupid bus with so many pple toking toking toking..I suddenly think why god create LOVE..

Why do we nid to love? Ain't LOVE just abt being together..having sex?
Come on, issit this wat the MODERN guys are thinking now? So called," FLING"
Ha..Interesting nahz..

Okay. Let's talk abt the purpose of getting marry. Are you sure u can marry to a person and face him/her more than 20yrs..having kids, worryin abt kids' education..family BILLs..all $$$$$
Are you sure you wun look for short term r/s without commitment to get the feeling of honeymoon Love again?

Ask yourself, even if u wun and stay so faithful to your life partner, will your partner do so too?
Never read on newspaper? Never see how husband killed the wife for bringing so called "green hat" to him?

Why want to tolerate yourself getting marry and realise he/she have an affair outside ?
Den cry n cry n cry and den wan to die lahz..wan to divorce lahz..

Tell you guys, save the problems..DO NOT STEP INTO THE COFFIN YOURSELF!
Actually is I don't trust Love anyway..to me, Guys approach you is not becoz they wan to make frenz with u..its all about SEX..sex...sex...sex...

I finally realised..

I haf been working for a few days le..hmm...I realised wat kind of job I'm looking for..This is the one..I enjoyed serving those patients..assisting them to the fullest with my wonderful care and concern deep from my heart..hehe

Its really a community serve job which I don't feel that I'm working..more like..hmm..going to a place to have fun and let people make my day..

Maybe I just start where I can't find the stress yet..as times go by, I will get to know more and more about my job..and who know..I might go into Nursing..and get myself a Diploma in it and become a Staff Nurse!! My dream lahz..dun bother about me lahz as I always change my mind..Coz I am still a "ART" person.. ahem..I love ARTS...

Since I start on this job..i haven't been online..Guys, I misses u all so much..but I simply just don't have the time to really chat like before..after a long day at work..I am half dead when reach home and sleep around 10plus..which mean i don't have time to go exercise too..hahaha

Don't be surprise to see me become fatter.. =)
Anyway, I don't mind at all..coz I want guys to like me bcoz of my character not LOOKs..tot I dun haf anyway.. bleahz..

Merry Christmas In advance in case I didn't update my blog until den...
Stay Cool Guys..muackz..

Application for the Position of Patient Service Asst..

Wow..its so amazing..I finally found a JOB!!
You can't imagine how happy I was when I recieved the call from NUH..

She said," Morning Joanne, this is calling from NUH. We're offering you the position of PSA and can you start work on Tuesday...." I wasn't listening anymore..hehe..I was already flooding up into the air at dat moment..too happy to actually pay attention to wat she trying to tell me..until she said," Do you have anything to ask me?" Den my soul came back...hhahaha..

I actualli smsed alot of my friends telling them the good news! Too happy le lahz.. dun blame me to those I did actually sms u!~

Oh my God! I tot I blow up the interview when they said,"You have ur Hp no with us rite?"...I said," Yes. Its written on my resume." And they actually said,"Thanks for coming."

I called my best friend immediately after the interview..I told her every questions they shot at me..and I was inside the interview room for 45mins..My best friend said chance of getting is high..but I just lack of the confident..BUT ...BUT hor.. I DID IT!!

Too excited..so sorry.. Bleahz..

Marina..

MARINA is a place I frequent quite often..its actually old CANTO.. People used to think the crowds there r mainly ah lians and ah bengs..which is wrong.. entry age is 18 for girls..23 for guys.. hmm..Guys there majority r in their mid 20s to 30s...

Anyway, I just want to say..the WAITERs there are YANDAOs!! hehe..
I get to knw this waiter by the name or Kelvin..he's so cute..so sweet looking..
But hor, I dun dare to tok to him....but whenever I go there, I will make sure I stares hard at him until the guys next table to me also notice me looking at the waiter and smiles smiles at me..
so Paiseh..but hor..he really YANDAO..
Me droolz.......

Love is not a game...

Games..

Dat day I was chatting with an irc friend regarding Love matters... coz me shi lian le...feeling quite sad dat particular day.
He was saying I chosed the wrong player in my game.. Actually is..I played game too easily without reading the manual. I should have sit aside, read the manual carefully before I start playing the game..
At times, I want to continue playing with my board of game..but the player just play it without heart and parted the game without me getting prepare..Or rather, I jumped into this particular game and found out I dunno how to play and left the player staring at the board of game sadly..
Maybe this is the way game goes..
some give up easily, some play it recklessly, some play it with wholehearted, some simply play many games at one time?
I tell myself, I am not gg to join a game just becoz someone invite me to.. Losing the game hurts...its really hurt..
The last game I haf: The player said he's not ready for game yet!
So why beginning he invited to his board of game?
Nahz..Fun to see me devote myself into the game and he happily brush off his chess and said bye bye..
Recently, there's a guy I knw him through friend during clubbing..he's been inviting me to his board of game..but I guess I won't want to play this game..I am scare of playing games le..

So Guys, how urs game with ur player? ?
Give me some advices on Love Matters pls..I am lost...............................................................

Halloween..

This yr was the 1st time I celebrated Halloween! It was so fun dancing myself away when stoopig FIGHTS actually happened... That scene was so remarkable !! Dat fellow juz took up a chair and threw it at another guy! WOW!! My eyes were wide open staring at them..haha..FIGHTS..Childish enuff but guess its nice to haf extra programme for a Halloween Nitez. No one really dress up for the Nitez, so different when I heard friends saying about Zouk~ Mani of them dressed up "beautiful" enuff to scare people off..haha..Guess its kinda of FUN too.

We have this planning for next yr Halloween! Dressing up 11 of us, 1 as Priest and the 10 as zombies..with a bell..ring ring ring jumping into ZOUK..sounded interesting hor..

I learnt a New WORD too. SARONG GERS! which explaint as, those GERS who go for ANG MOHS only. Hehe.. why ahz? Wat so interesting abt ang mohs? eh..bigger? haha.. or they are durable?? Should u guys find out for me and solve my question marks?? *Bleah*

Strange..

Sitting at home alone as usual on weekends, doing nothing, staring at my monitor screen, I was thinking.. We gers keep saying Guys can't be trusted..Guys cheated feeling..Guys only interested in SEX...Guys don't want to commit..but did we ask ourselves..when Gers became the victims of those StuPID SeX BrAiN idioTs, why they choose us? Wat's went wrong?

Our behaviour too open dat they mistaken we're easy..or even loose..Or they find us naive? Easy to conn.....?? Or they think we're SIMPLY GERS WITH NO BRAIN..telling gers they really love them, will love them and treasure them yet after SEX they just disappear..

Guys might thought its so easy to get and won't get into troubles..but did guys tot of those gers who really want a true loving relationship, just want to be with someone they love, how deeply will they hurt them..

Gers who are out for cheating Guys' money all this..why some gers behave this way..Heard from friends from irc saying, "Some gers just want ONS!", "Hey, dat ger said she want to come over to my house ley.." etc..

I tot for a moment..gers behaving this way...guys behaving that way..why the world is changing this way..
Those who truly want a relationship are always those who get hurt......deeply...........

Meaningless..

My Cute Friend!
I know this friend through irc and happened to be he's friends' friend so we become friends..but suddenly today I feel that he's a bully! Like to say me then say sorry. Like to kick me then muackz. I think he's JING SHEN FEN LIE! =pPPp

My Stupid Boss!
I hate him until I feel like slapping him! He's such an idiotic fellow with NO BRAIN! He tot wat..he only the boss ley! If he want to fire me, just fire! Don't make stupid remarks nor shake his stupid head!

Sometimes I really don't know what to do with my own life. I seem to have no interests in anything ard..I can't bother to pack my room..can't bother to watch those vcds I bought 2 months ago. Went to repair my Diamond necklace which my ex gave me as birthday present 2 months yet until now not collect by me ley. Complaint bored is my hobby I guess, yet friends asked me out, I rather couch at home. I am sick of clubbing already..I will be bored to death! Looking at guys fishing girls.. Girls flirting with guys.. Bengsters to be fighting..What the hell? Nonsense is the only word! I just don't understand why people bother to spend money on beers, Martel or watever. They drink, drank, drunk...den vomit?? Why bother to drink it when u're going to vomit it out? duhz.. Life? Aiyoz..give me the money ma..I help you all to spend!!

May happiness befall on all of us...  

Dream or Nightmare?

Yesterday I was talking to a guy on the phone who I know him through Mirc. It was not the 1st time we chatted..but it was different this time round.
We chatted happily when he suddenly said he like me..on my side, he's nice, sweet and most importantly I love to tok to him. But I ponder abt this.. The fact is he never see me before, how can he fall for me? I am a girl with no confidence..he said he wanted to meet me..of coz..I said no as I daren't.. I feel that I have no looks nor figure..nothing of me will attract him..
I thought for awhile last night..there's people who go after me, but they don't mind my looks..don't mind dat I am FAT..which alot of pple saw my photo and said I don't look as I am fat.. hehe.. decieving photo!!~ But this guy here might go for looks and figure..
I simply just want to protect myself. I hate to hear this kinda of things.."Wat happened to you? Why u gain so much weight?", "Hey, u really need to lose some weight?"..etc
Those who said all this didn't knew that it's actually hurt me..but good as well, those nasty remarks make me wanting to slim down so much..dat I am trying now but still no result..
Some friends said, why bother to slim down when there's pple going after you..To me, is not about bgr..its more towards the confidence..I want to gain back my confidence..

R.O.M

Today is a weird day..feeling not so good, but not so bad..thinking of changing job but haf too many commitment on hand..stress another word. Too many things on my mind, thinking how come my life run this way.. I want a change..yet I dunno what..

Early in the morning, I saw my pal who I know for 11yrs online. I was happy to see yet strange as this hour she will be at work. She told me she's on leave becoz her good friend is getting ROM today. Hmm..from this..my brain starts to ponder..RoM.. hmm..when its my turn..although I said before," Nah, dunwan to get into r/s so fast..", etc.. hey..which ger dunwan pple to dote on, care for, feel loved and wanted..

I sit back on my chair, I stare at the screen for a moment. Since I start to have my 1st boyfriend when I was 16, I already change 10 boyfriends so far..what happened to my past r/s.. Am I a loser or I just can't manage my love life well or I just anyhow fall in love.. I dun haf the answer to myself at all..

Among these 10, I only truly loved 2 before. The one is a cute guy who is 2yrs younger den me. Being with him is the happiness moment so far..he bring me all the laughter and fun. But things don't seem to work long..we were together abt a yrs plus and its blow off.. sometimes I think back, ya..I admitted, I took him for granted..I tot he will always treat me good, swallowed all my nonsenses until my friend told me he sicked of me saying break up after each quarrel. ha..see! Dat's me when I was young.. Until now, the feeling yrs back is still fresh in my mind..whenever pple ask me,"Hey, who is the one u love most?" Its still him..although he dun haf looks or figure nor anything..Love is blind..

Rabbit ? Snake ? nahz...

Guys..could u all believe this? I broke up with my ex bf juz bcoz his mum said Chinese Horoscope RABBIT and ROOSTER dun match!! We were abt to ROM le and the mum took our eight characters to seek those fortune-teller and to find out this!! Nonsenses or stupid? Nahz..I was sad abt this for a month and I got over it le. We were deeply in love b4 but he love his mum more.. =) much more wor..duhz..

I did research..and found out ...so its the deadly Snake and Dragon dat Match with Rooster! (Dragon according to frenzz, snake from books)...Snake snake snake.. =P GUys born iN year 1977!

We still contact each other but recently decided to stop le..as he felt dat he can't move on with his own life and I am here..bored at work enuff to tell pple my story..

Love is a wonderful thing..

When I was 16 years old, I haf this dream..finding my dream man, get marry, settle down, haf children and led a everlasting happiness life. Soon, I met my 1st Boyfriend who is charming, big build with a pair of beautiful big eyes. It was love at sight! It's really was! My heart beats against the second hand! I avoid his eyes, avoid hearing him, but he was everywhere..
It was on the same day I knew him dat he became mine. I tot, as dat point of time, everything was so beautiful..but I was wrong.. We were together about 2 weeks when friends came and told me this.."Hey Joanne! Kang is getting marry next month! You din knw abt it?" I was shocked, my heart hurted....He was lying to me all this while.. "What am I to him?" I asked myself..
Guess did I become more alert and protect myself more? Nahz... I din..I guess this is bcoz I believe Love is a wonderful thing~